Complex Trauma

Trauma can take many forms, whether it be something that you felt you needed that you didn’t receive growing up to something that you got but really didn’t need. It can leave us stunned, paralyzed and numb for years. Be it PTSD, complex trauma or a betrayal, it can be something that continues to feel like we’re reliving the event even though we know cognitively it’s already past. EMDR and IFS are often approaches I use to help clients notice a different perspective, or to look at the situation through a different lens, thereby reducing the intensity and overwhelm of the original traumatic event.

From a relational point of view, couples can become triggered and reactive to something their partner does but really is a response to a historical hurt or wound with an earlier attachment figure. Partners can often expect their partner to help them regulate when their partner may not know how to, leaving them further disappointed, isolated and disconnected. Using EFT, Relational Life Therapy and Gottman, we will identify what the current attachment cycle is, and work to alter the cycle in ways that help both partners feel less blamed, more differentiated and more nurtured.

IFS (Parts Work)

IFS (Internal Family Systems) or as referred more commonly as “parts work” is a relatively new form of therapy that is compassionate, non pathologizing and inclusive. When I offer parts work to clients, it is an invitation into the internal world of that person, to become more curious about the various parts that hold different wants, needs, intentions. Each part has its own perspective, feelings, memories, goals and motivations. For example, one part may want to work non stop, and yet another part wanting the person to rest and relax. You may already have heard of different parts named inner critic, inner child, wounded child, adaptive child, angry and scared parts etc.

While parts work can be explained at length, the core belief is that each part has good intentions for you. Parts are not random, they are created by us to help manage (protectors, nurturers) OR parts also get created because of extremely painful and hurtful experiences (wounded child). Parts only know what they know, so an important aspect to parts work as that acknolwdfing, validating the positive intentions these parts bring, for they have very important reasons to continue to do what they do. With enough trust, curiosity and space, parts will begin to trust, and after trusting will be more open to allowing', “giving permission” for the SELF to help heal, reparent, the other hurt and traumatized parts.