Trauma can take many forms, whether it be something that you felt you needed that you didn’t receive growing up to something that you got but really didn’t need. It can leave us stunned, paralyzed and numb for years. Be it PTSD, complex trauma or traumatic grief, it can be something that continues to feel like we’re reliving the event even though we know cognitively it’s already past. EMDR and IFS are often approaches I use to help clients notice a different perspective, or to look at the situation through a different lens, thereby reducing the intensity and overwhelm of the original traumatic event.

From a relational point of view, couples can become triggered and reactive to something their partner does but really is a response to a historical hurt or wound with an earlier attachment figure. Partners can often expect their partner to help them regulate when their partner may not know how to, leaving them further disappointed, isolated and disconnected. Using EFT, Relational Life Therapy and Gottman, we will identify what the current attachment cycle is, and work to alter the cycle in ways that help both partners feel less blamed, more differentiated and more nurtured.